Discipline 101
Discipline 101
6 Helpful Tips
When do you start discipline? I hear this question often. Good news? You most likely already are! Check! Seriously, you are already doing it. Discipline does not mean punishment. Discipline is a way to teach. You most likely have been discipling for a lot longer than you even realize. For instance, redirection. This is a form of discipline. When our children are young babies, we use redirection all the time. They walk over to something dangerous or breakable, we move them or redirect them to something else, something more appropriate and safe.
What are other ways you can start to teach expectations? Aka start discipling? Have no fear, below is a great start. Discipline 101: 6 tips for success and a platform to begin. Remember, discipline is teaching. There will be days of mistakes and days of successes. We build on skill sets and chip away slowly at the goals. Give these tips a try & watch the learning begin.
Meet Basic Needs
This seems like an obvious one but it is often overlooked. Have you every wondered, what is going on with my child? Often, it can be fixed simply by making sure all of the basic needs are met. Have a check list for yourself and ask yourself if their basic needs are covered. For example, hunger, thirst, and sleep. If a child is hungry aka hangry (angry/hungry) you will see some big behaviors. If a child is thirsty, you could see a meltdown. Sleep is a vital piece to the puzzle as well. A well rested kiddo, is one that is more pleasant to be around overall. Sometimes, kids are thirsty but they don’t even realize it. They forget to ask. So make sure these basic needs are met daily. It can make a big difference in behavior!
Create Consistent Routines/Structure
Children thrive on routine and structure. It is important to provide this to them. They need a home base that feels safe and in turn allows them to feel secure. This happens quickly if there is routine and structure built into their daily lives. This does not mean you have to be rigid. This just means to create a shell of consistency for your child through routine and structure. We do x before nap everyday. We eat breakfast at the table with Mom. We put our shoes on when we play outside. There are certain tasks that need to be done daily, when we add a consistent routine to the day, kids feel secure and typically behavior is better.
Create a Child-Friendly Environment
It is important for kids to have areas that are kid-friendly. Areas that have some toys and items they can access freely. This does not mean your entire house needs to be a kid zone. What it does mean is that it is important for kids to have areas that are kid friendly. Areas that they can go to each day and know they will find their favorite blocks or books to play with. Young children are craving independence and their imaginations are running wild. Lets set them up for success to build upon these skills and create positive experiences at home.
Establish Boundaries
It is important to create boundaries in any relationship. This is no different with our children. I always give the example of using the bathroom. It is perfectly normal to want to use the restroom alone and believe me, your children will want that same privacy one day too. So establish it, shut the bathroom door when you are using the restroom. This physical boundary is an easy one to set. Boundaries are an important thing to instill and teach our children. It is important that they learn to respect others space, that they understand that they have a voice in their own space, and how to ask for that space when they need to. Another example is the “tickle game”. Think about times where you tickle your kids and they may be laughing and saying “no” at the same time. If you hear no, stop. This teaches them that no means something and you respect the boundary they are requesting. You can cue them and say, “if you really mean yes keep tickling you can say, more tickles please”. This creates a healthy boundary while also teaching them the importance of no and that they control their bodies.
Practice Independent Play
Toddlers do not need to be entertained every second of the day. They have amazing imaginations, let them use it. It is amazing what they will play and do to entertain themselves. Am I saying to never play with them? Of course not. However, allow them a safe place to practice independent play times. Start small and build on how long they can do this for. If they get upset when you are not right there, assure them that they are okay. You are okay Timmy, I am right here just making us lunch. It is really important to reassure our kids that they are okay but also encourage the independence as well. It is a balance, but the more you practice the better they become at it. Confidence builds and you will be amazed at all they can do independently.
Successful Communication
Practice telling them how you want them to behave instead of only saying no. Are you going to say no? Of course, and that is healthy. Remember, boundary setting. However, it is important to not just say no. They does not provide a teaching moment. Tell your child the behavior you want to see next time. Allow them a chance to learn and correct for next time. Instead of saying, “no hitting”, you can say “Timmy, we use gentle hands instead of hitting. Can you show mama gentle hands?” And help him by showing him what that looks like and pairing it with the phrase gentle hands. Another important aspect of communication is addressing feelings first. Show your child empathy by labeling their emotions and/or recognizing when they are upset. “I see you are frustrated!” Or “I bet that is a bummer.” These types of phrases will validate their feelings, teach them all the different emotions we feel and let them feel understood.
Practice these 6 tips and tricks on your parenting journey. They will help set the stage for success!