There are many things that change once we become parents. Leaving the house takes longer, remembering things takes longer, quite frankly everything just takes longer. So when we think of traveling with our little ones, it almost feels like more work then reward. However, with some extra planning and thoughtfulness, I believe travel can be one of the most rewarding experiences we can have with our kids. Patience and planning are key to this process. Will the vacation feel more like a trip? Most likely. But it does not have to be stressful. It can still be fun! and dare I say… WORTH IT!! Sit back, relax, and let the fun travel experience begin…

Travel Helpful Tips

Strategic Planning:

• Be prepared. Schedule flights the best you can when your child is typically in the best mood (probably the morning). Scheduling close to nap time can help as well. Many kiddos fall asleep on planes. Be prepared for delays in flights. Bring extra clothes, toys, formula, breast milk, snacks, etc.

• Bring lots of snacks, games, distractions for the plane. You never know what will please your kids. Feed babies on take off and landing to help their ears or offer a pacifer. 

• Unpack once you are at the hotel or place you are staying. Make a little area to change the baby, unpack clothes, toys, ect. Make the room into a mini home away from home. Organization is key to success. 

• If you can, think about getting a bigger room, suite, family style hotel room for space and separate sleeping areas. This can help everyone to sleep better. It may be worth the money. 

• If in one room, look for a space to shove a pack and play into (bathroom, closet, corner). Everyone sleeps better if we have a little space. 

Stick to a flexible schedule

• Vacation is different then home. Flexibility is key to everyones happiness. However, with that being said, kids thrive on structure and routine. Best you can have them acclimate to their new environment successfully by maintaining some consistency. 

• Continue the bed time routine as close to the routine at home. (Side Note: I think it is key, if your child is napping twice a day to always allow them that morning nap in a crib or pack n play. I think it sets their entire day up for success) 

• One night they may stay up past their bed time, but I would suggest not doing this each and every night. This creates a cycle for being over tired. Maybe if they stay up late one night, they go to bed on time the next night. Again, set them and yourselves up for success.

• This goes with naps as well. Maybe one day afternoon naps are on the go. NO PROBLEM! But then the next day, give them a “normal” nap. Flexibility but also be smart. We can not expect to push our kids everyday and have them not act up. Be realistic.  

Time Change

• If the time change is less then three hours… Try and get them on the new time as soon as possible. Know the first day is sort of thrown off from travel. Get them to bed best you can at a normal time, and start them on the new time zone the next day. They will adjust quickly just like we do. 

• If the time change is four hours or more, it may take a day or so to adjust. Adjust their schedules little by little until they are on the new time. Again, they will adjust quickly. 

• Be patient. If one day everything is off by an hour, roll with it. You are on vacation. But note, kiddos are much less jaded then we are and tend to roll with punches easier as well!

Tricks

• Pack n Play placement can be a challenge especially in a hotel. See if the bathroom is big enough for the pack n play or a closet. This can help give them and you your own space. 

• Bring a sound machine, two if you need it!

• Practice with the pack n play one night at home if you are worried. Most kiddos do great in them. 

• Bring fun and new distractions for airplane or car ride. (We really limit the iPad at home. Then when we travel this is a treat!! Novelty can be very exciting and keep them occupied for a long time!)

• Stick to a normal routine best you can so they feel safe and secure in this new place

• Kids are so resilient and typically deal with travel better then we do, so practice breathing and being calm. They feel our energy.

• Have snacks on hand in hotel room in case they are hungry and you do not want to wait to order food. 

• Enjoy. Happiness is contagious. If you are flexible and have an easy going attitude, they will feed off of that. 

I recently was asked by a friend, “I feel like you never lose it. like you are always able to stay calm at home”. This statement has stuck with me the last few weeks and I keep re-playing it over and over again. Because let me tell you, this is so far from true. I feel like if that is what a friend thinks, that may be what others think and I am doing everyone who follows me a disservice. 

I was waiting for the right timing to do a blog post on this. I was waiting because even though I put myself out there often, it is really scary. Social media is so difficult but also so important. It is how we reach one another and it is how I grow my company. I started this work to help others. I wanted families to know that balance is possible. Hard days are going to happen, but with some structure and sleep, they are manageable. In order to help, I have to continue to be honest and transparent. Because I am with you! I am in the trenches with you. Day after day. I have two little ones and life is not perfect… 

I yell when I shouldn’t. I turn on an extra show for my daughter when I am overwhelmed.  I pretend to be watching when slyly looking at my phone. I cuss way too often and in front of them! I cry. Tears of joy, tears of frustration, tears of not feeling good enough. I worry all the time. I worry that I am creating brats who expect so many things in life. I worry I don’t do enough with my second as I did with my first. I worry about my marriage because I am spending so much time worrying about my kids. And VICE VERSA! When does the mom guilt end??

Reese was born the day before the 4th of July and my husband and I were in full denial that she was coming. I was in labor for a good 24 hours before I would admit anything was happening. I never went into labor with Harper so the fact I did with Reese was mind blowing. Don’t ever make a plan in your head…

The first month of Reese’s life was incredibly hard and I had to make a feeding choice for our family and I. At three weeks old, I stopped breast feeding. Ten months later, I can look back on my experience and know without a shadow of doubt that I made the right decision. But the hours leading up to it, I was a wreck. 

I can give you all the reasons that I stopped. The reasons that make me feel better when I say them to others. The reasons that I feel when explained to people who would judge that decision cast a little less judgement after hearing them. Yes, Reese has pretty bad reflux. She was an inefficient eater because of it. She was starving after feeds. We were having to feed, top with formula, pump. Feedings were taking over an hour plus. I felt like Harper was not getting my attention and on and on and on I could go…

But I stopped. I stopped because it was what I wanted to do. I stopped because I was sobbing every day, multiple times a day. I was frustrated with my baby. I was unable to enjoy this time, enjoy my toddler, enjoy my husband, my life. So I stopped. Did the above reasons contribute to my decision? Yes. But ultimately could I have pushed through a lot of that? Maybe. but at what cost? For me, I was not willing to find out. 

I called a dear friend of mine. I was sobbing. Between breaths I asked her, “what will I tell my clients when they ask me?” and she gave me the best advice. She told me, you tell them. You tell them you story, your struggle, both your experiences. I breast fed Harper until six months and Reese until 3 weeks. I have seen both sides. Been successful with both. I could share my experience. I could be honest. I could maybe help another family who is struggling with the same pressures I felt and still feel sometimes. 

This is what I do. I share my story. You get asked all the time as a mom “are you breast feeding?”. This question is always so strange to me. Does it really matter how you feed a baby as long as they are happy and healthy? But sure enough, I have found myself asking those same questions. Adding to the pressure that we all feel. Maybe it isn’t feeding but sleeping. “Does the baby sleep well?” and if they don’t, and you have to answer no, How does that make you feel as a mom? Not good enough? imperfect? Helpless? 

I remember being so nervous to make up a bottle in public. I didn’t want anyone to see that I was making up a formula bottle for my 1 month old. Even typing that makes me cringe. I cannot believe that is what I was so focused on but I was. I was so worried what people would think, say, and at that time, I was just so raw. I couldn’t bear to hear anything negative. 

Reese didn’t transition to formula and her feeding issues disappeared. It was a long journey for us. Multiple formulas. Patience. Tears. (from her and me). But we have come a very long way. She is healthy and happy. I am healthy and happy. We, as a family, are healthy and happy. In the end, I do believe this is what matters. This is what is important. 

This post is not about formula vs breast milk. I promise you. I do not care how you feed your baby. I want all babies to be well fed, happy and FULL. I say this over and over to my clients, a baby who is well fed is what it is important. That can look so many different ways. All formula, all breast milk, all bottles, half and half, etc. For me, I am an all in kind of person. I couldn’t do that half and half. So I switched. At 3 weeks, I switched. And I would do the same thing all over again. 

As a mom, of two young children, I understand. I get it. Every situation is so different but I do get it. I get you and what you are going through. Reaching out for help with discipline or sleep is never easy. Asking for help with your children can feel defeating. Like you are not capable of doing it on your own. In turn, you feel like you are not a good parent. I say this because I have felt that. I feel that often. I think that is part of being a mom. You feel like a failure sometimes and other times you feel like you can take on the world. 

All I do know is that I am here. I am here to listen. I am here to help. I am here to share. I LOVE what I do because of the people I work with, because of the honest conversations I get to have and because of the connection. I never want anyone to feel like I never lose it. I lose it more often then I would like to admit. But what I do know, is it takes a village. I am so grateful for this platform. For my ability to be able to reach so many even if just through a blog post. 

I work with a variety of ages and families. With each family comes new challenges, exceptions to “rules”, and truly a learning experience for me each and every time. Some situations are harder then others. Lets be honest, some children have dispositions that are more challenging then others. This is what makes my job fun, makes parenting exhausting, and keeps me on my toes.

Even though so often, many families I see have their own unique way of working, there are certain things I say often and to many. Certain principles that apply to the masses. Certain “rules”, tips, or tricks that can help the majority. These tricks I use myself and I also remind myself of them weekly. A lot of what I teach other families has become second nature to me, but the really good advice, the really good tips and tricks, well I have to also remind myself of these too. One of my favorite reminders is, “one bad nap does not equal a bad sleeper”.

Now, I know I am not the only one out there that does this. And I know better! I know babies are human, not everyday will look the same, and sometimes there will be bad naps. However, one bad nap can make me feel bonkers and drive me down a spiraling path of thinking of every single way I have turned my good sleeper into a bad one. How did I set her up to fail? What went wrong? How can I fix this? Ugh, I am so annoyed right now! And so on and so forth. There begins the spiral of doom. Okay, maybe not doom but you get the picture.

I am lucky to have a husband who reminds me often of the things I tell others. Helps bring me back to reality. “Chelsea, we have a great kid and sleeper, she is just off today!” My perfectionism gets the best of me sometimes. Makes the whole parenting humans instead of robots really hard. So do not beat yourself up when you have one bad nap or sleep situation. It happens. I know better and I still do this and have to remind myself of this little saying often.

Another principle or phase I use often is… “Do not fear the put down”. What does this mean? Exactly as it sounds. When you lay your baby or toddler down for any sleeping situation do not fear it. 1. Because kids smell fear. Be brave, act confident (even if you are not), it can help. 2. Because what is the worst that is going to happen? You lay them down and they may cry. That is okay, I have tools to help with that!!

I have watched so many families come up with really creative ways to lay their kids down because of this “fear of the put down”. I am talking sneaky moves and tricks to lay that baby down, sneak out of the room making minimal to zero noise, barely breathing, and exhausted. I have even seen people army crawl out of the room. I think there is a You Tube video on this (it is actually pretty funny but only because I am not the one having to do that nightly). Do not fear the put down, don’t let this be you. And if this is you, do not worry, you can always change it.

But I get it. I really do. Survival mode. You are tired. You just want to lay that baby down and hear silence. So I really do get it but I am here to tell you this snowballs and fast. What starts out as a few minutes a night of rocking to sleep with that sneaky drop off to the crib turns into an hour plus of rocking and then slowly putting that baby down with the fear they will wake up and you have to start that rocking all over again. The horror! And the reality to so many. I really do get it, that would be exhausting!

So, lets change that. But how? First, do not fear the put down. Be confident. Second, lay that baby down awake. Yes, awake!! Drowsy is okay but awake is key. Tell them good night. It is nice for them to know what is happening. Think about this, if you fell asleep in someone’s arms rocking or feeding, then were put down in a bed alone, and woke up later on alone, out of that persons arms, you may be quite freaked out. You may even cry or scream. “Help!!! I need that rocking stat and by the way, where am I???”

Do not fear the put down. Start this right away. One of the biggest indicators a baby can sleep through the night is when they have the skill of being able to put themselves to sleep. How do they achieve this? By falling asleep on their own, by not fearing the put down, by laying that baby down awake.

Practice. At any age you can practice this. It is okay if they cry when you lay them down. They are learning. Learning can be frustrating. We are learning too. Allow them to fuss a little and then you can keep doing check ins. Let them know they are okay but it is time to sleep. Do not fear that put down. Putting a baby in the sleep space they are sleeping in is a good thing. It is a skill you want them to learn. We do not need to be fearful of this learning curve. Take the fear out of it. Reframe the way you look at this learning experience. In time, baby will learn to fall asleep on their own, lay down happily, and sleep time will be a joyous experience not one driven by fear.

A little bit of the “why”…

Hi everyone! I thought it would be helpful to start to “blog” once a month. I use quotes around blog because this is not going to be anything fancy but just a way for me to share & get more Building Blocks tips & tricks out there. For those who know me and/or have worked with me, know how transparent I am. I think this is helpful. I have been there. And even though it feels vulnerable to say, I really think it is helpful to know, I have really hard days as a parent to. It is one thing to set up other families to be successful, it is another thing to practice what I preach. Some days are easier than others!

For instance… I have second guessed myself at 3am. I have cried over my schedules not being perfect or one of my kids having a bad nap. I catastrophize these situations at times (catastrophizing means to make a situation much bigger than it really is, opposite of rational thinking, but as a parent? it is so hard to be rational!). I take one bad nap and turn it into my kid doesn’t sleep well anymore. I have beat myself up on days when I think I am a horrible parent for turning on that extra TV show or for yelling when I should have taken the break. I take it personally when my three year old throws a tantrum or better yet, throws her toy directly at my face. I am the definition of a perfectionist, and parenting and perfectionism do not go hand in hand.

I know better. I know that not every day with kids will feel great. That we will sometimes have more “hard” days than “easy” days. That one bad nap does not mean a bad sleeper. That one tantrum (or toy hitting my face) does not directly relate to me all of the time. I know these things. I tell all my clients this… daily. Yet, I still have trouble telling myself these things. I get it. I really do. Parenting is rewarding and brutal— all at the same time.

Parenting is hard. I had someone recently ask me what my secret is, what is the secret to get kids to sleep? I thought about this and I answered honestly, I do not have a secret. Parenting is simple, not easy. We tend to overcomplicate everything. Myself included. My secret is helping families to see the simple and effective solutions, be consistent and flexible to create an imperfect but successful environment. This is no secret. But it can be challenging…

My favorite part of my job is the connections I get to make with families. It is incredibly rewarding to get invited into someone’s life and be a part of their team for a while. Watching families learn, grow and become successful is really the main reason why I do what I do. I actually leave consultations smiling. This is because I get to be invited into people’s lives, learn about how they operate and together come up with a plan to help everyone feel rested, happy and adjusted. I do not take for granted how special this is. It is very vulnerable to have anyone come into your home and help. I feel lucky for each consult I do.

Help. What a simple word with so much meaning behind it. I do what I do because of the people I help. I get such joy out of sharing my passion with others and watching them put into practice the tools and techniques. I enjoy helping. I enjoy this because I learn something new with each and every family. People are not robots, so I am constantly learning and evolving. One size does not fit all. And that part is fun! Being a clinician means you must be flexible to learn and grow. If you stay the same way, or only have one way to approach things, you grow stale and fast. I love my job. It is a challenge some days and can be tiring but it is so rewarding. So thank you to all of the families who have allowed me to join them, help them, and share in their success. I am excited to start this blog, to let you in a little more into my own world, and share some tips to help!

In closing, here are my top three MUST do tips for Parenting 101:

1. Be Consistent. (Do not let the one thing you are consistent about be inconsistency).

2. Be a Broken Record. (Do not assume that they get it, another reminder never hurt anyone)

3. Practice Self Care. (If you are not good, they are not good. Take care of yourself, so you can take care of them!)